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好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方
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好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方
2007.09.22
这几天在大连开会，没有时间多写博客。
保平兄的女研究生话题
保平兄这几天讨论的关于女研究生话题，也是我关心的一个问题。再说大家也应该都已经注意到我最近是越来越没有创造性，所以博客的主题总是跟着保平兄的话题跑。
保平兄的《关于女生读研的是是非非》：http://www.sciencenet.cn/blog/user_content.aspx?id=7642
我在那里评论如下：
“保平兄，深有同感。不过不是每个女生都可以成为居里夫人。
我原先也是一直劝，一直劝。现在我原则上不多劝。因为你越劝，他/她越犹豫，暂时决定要念下去，过一段时间又不想念了。你想想，他/她不肯读下去的原因不是因为他/她读不下去，而是因为他/她觉得做其他地事情更好。不管他/她的判断客观上正确与否，这种基本心理和主观判断毕竟是客观存在的。出现这种情况的最关键的因素，主要是因为在社会中学者和研究人员自己的生活和工作不能成为学生选择的榜样和羡慕的对象。学生不是傻瓜，我们也不能期望他们做傻瓜。
所以，现在如果有学生告诉我他/她不读下去了，我大概只会告诉他/她我认为这对他/她个人目前很可能是一个不好的选择，劝他/她三思而行。如果他/她再提出来，我就只能告诉他/她good luck and bye bye了。
其实，很多时候有学生要念下去的时候，我们反而应该劝他/她仔细想一想，是否应该念下去。生活中有很多道路可以选择，将来从事科学、研究和教育并不一定是对每个人来讲最好的和最适合的。不肯全心全意专注于知识的人，还不如到社会上去胡混。所谓good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere, 就是这个道理。”
或许是我从事的学科更属于所谓的“硬科学”，所以很多时候我越来越觉得劝学生继续学下去并不是对每一个学生都适合。我最多能要求说既然你要读下去，那培养的标准总是要我来定才是。
前不久在香港和吴奇学兄讨论研究生问题时，他就对我说：现在的学生做某位老师的研究生，是叫做“work for”XX教授，而不像以前是叫做“work with”XX教授。前者是应付差事，后者是学习本事，差别太大。
李远哲先生在2002年访问北京时，我安排他和我们重点实验室的研究生谈如何做研究生。期间他特别谈到说他自己从小很崇拜居里夫人，所以为自己培养出的女学生中一名成为芝加哥大学教授，一名成为麻省理工学院教授而深感自豪。
好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方
我自己也很崇拜居里夫人，所以对于培养女研究生也很重视。但不管怎样，真正要培养她们做科学家或任何professionals，必须用同样的学术标准来要求他们。如果对女生放低要求，其实是对她们的歧视，认为她们永远不如男生。
Meat Loaf有一首歌叫做Good girls go to heaven, but bad girls go everytwhere，也就是“好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方”。其实这跟我小时候我父亲告诉我他的长辈告诉他：“你成龙就上天，成蛇就钻草。”是一个道理。这个世界上，既有龙，也有蛇，又是候蛇也叫小龙，没有什么不光荣的。不过成龙成蛇都是你自己的选择，自己承担上天或钻草的后果。
YouTube上Meat Loaf的Good girls go to heaven but bad girls go everywere音乐及动画视屏：http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hCdobQ6rBE
当然，很多时候学生并不一定知道自己的选择对于自己的未来意味着什么。不过只要她/他们不对自己自暴自弃，她/他们总是会找到自己的出路。好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方，只要自己不陷入无法自拔的糟糕境地，也不给别人带来无穷的麻烦，她/他们选择自己希望的东西总不会错。就算选择错了，能够及时改变和调整就好。
顺便到google上以“好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方”一搜，就搜出近10万个相关网页，以下就是其中的两个。
主题为《好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方》的一个博客：http://jillshappyending.spaces.live.com/
一篇《好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方》网络文章：http://women.sohu.com/92/66/article206606692.shtml
Margaret Mitchell的小说《Gone with the wind》（飘）中的郝思佳和梅兰妮，就分别是坏女孩和好女孩的典型。也许，最理想的性格是二者得兼，不过那一定会是个精神分裂的疯女人。不管怎么说，不管是好女孩还是坏女孩，关键是要弄清楚自己是哪一种，不要非去做自己不适合和玩不转的那一种。
《飘》是我全文阅读的第一本英文小说，所以也是我读得最仔细的一本英文小说。我去年去亚特兰大开会时，就住在桃树街附近Margaret Mitchell的旧居，即现在的Margaret Mitchell博物馆，旁边的旅馆中，所以还专门去那里参观了一下。这是题外话。
************************************************************
Good Girls Go To Heaven (Bad Girls Go Everywhere) 歌词
Artist(Band): Meat Loaf
Good girls go to heaven
But the bad girls go everywhere
When the wind is howling through your window pane
It's not the only pain of the night
You're burning up in your bed, you got a fever of love
And there's not an anti-body in sight
Hey Jenny, Jenny, why are you crying?
There's a beauty of a moon in the sky
But I guess when you've been leading such a sheltered life
You never lift your head and look so high
You don't have a lot, but it's all that you've got
And you can turn it into more than it seems
Just give it a shot,
Fantasize every movement
And imagine every inch of your dream
No one said it had to be real
But it's gotta be something you can reach out and feel now
It ain't right, it ain't fair
Castles fall in the sand and we fade in the air
And the good girls go to heaven,
But the bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven,
But the bad girls go everywhere
Somebody told me so,
Somebody told me now I know
Every night in my prayer,
I'll be praying that the
Good girls go to heaven,
But the bad girls go everywhere
When the sweat is sizzling on your skin in the dark
And you're desperate now for somewhere to turn
Every muscle in rebellion, every nerve is on edge
And every limb has been erotically burned
Hey Johnny, Johnny, why are you shaking?
When a boy should do whatever he can
You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life
And now you wonder what it's like to be damned
You don't have a lot, but it's all that you've got
And you can turn it into more than it seems
Just give it a shot,
Fantasize every movement
And imagine every inch of your dream
No one said it had to be real
But it's gotta be something you've been wanting to feel now
It ain't right, it ain't fair
Castles fall in the sand and we fade in the air
And the good boys go to heaven,
But the bad boys go everywhere
Good boys go to heaven,
But the bad boys go everywhere
Somebody told me so,
Somebody told me now I know
Every night in my prayer,
I'll be praying that the
Good boys go to heaven,
But the bad boys go everywhere
Every time I try and dream you,
I can't believe how hard it's been to
Conjure up your face
And trace your body in the air
All the seconds go on forever,
But the thirds and fourth ones are even better
Everytime I do it just a little bit longer
Everytime I dream,
It's just a little bit stronger than real life
No one said it had to be real
But it's gotta be something you can reach out and feel, now!
It ain't right, it ain't fair
Castles fall in the sand and we fade in the air
And the good girls go to heaven,
But the bad girls go everywhere
Good girls go to heaven,
But the bad girls go everywhere
Somebody told me so,
Somebody told me now I know
Every night in my prayer,
I'll be praying that the
Good girls go to heaven,
But the bad girls go everywhere(fade out)
导师与学生
https://blog.sciencenet.cn/blog-176-7686.html
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